Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Nick: Testosterone...

Must be a very powerful thing. Without it, I've been a much more docile person, whereas Terri has been going full-throttle on this whole "man" thing.

On the weekend, we went down to the theatre to see Spider-Man 3. It was sort of a double-date you could say, because I brought Cherie and Traci brought Rose, this girl from his work. It was, in a word, awwwwwwkward.

The story there goes that they knew each other just a little bit when Traci was the receptionist, but weren't on much more than a "Hello, good morning, cute top" basis. Then Traci got my body and moved to the mail room where he sees her more and the conversations increased to what neither of them realized was flirting. Then Traci realized he liked girls and, after screwing around just a little bit, decided to take the big step. Rose decided to enter our weird little world.

So they're holding hands, and Cherrie and I are walking behind them kind of making fun because we're both single. It's mid-afternoon on Saturday and the Bloor area is full of construction workers, because the Ontario Museum has been undergoing renovations, like, forever. And these guys see me and Cherie and start this lame slow clap and a few wolf whistles. I didn't realize the cliche about construction guys was a fact. I guess they get to see a lot of women walk by every day. I'm not even sure I would have condoned this behaviour when I was a man, let alone now that I'm receiving it. Cherie just shrugged it off but I was nauseated and couldn't concentrate on the movie. Still though, I thought they did a decent enough job even if it didn't live up tot he second one. topher Grce needed more screen time, but you know James Franco really had some good scenes (even if the amnesia bit was totally hokey.)

I've been staying with Cherie more and more, as Traci's place becomes less and less girl-friendly. Maybe it's not even that, but it's just not roommate-friendly, as he keeps having Rose over to all hours. Cherie's a bigger place, too, with a comfier sofa.

But I do still live with Traci and the morning after that I sat down and had a serious talk with him.

"So how do you like Rose?" I asked, affecting the tone of a gossipy girl.

"Oh she's great," he beamed, "Smart, funny, and so pretty. God, she's great. She's everything I ever looked for in a person, even though..."

He paused and I finished the thought, "She's a woman."

"Yeah." He looked a little ashamed. "Do you think it's weird that I'm, dating a girl?"

I had to think. "I don't know. Because I know that's my old body and I guess it liked girls that much."

"But I wouldn't be doing it unless I really wanted to do, right?" he seemed really unsure of himself, for perhaps the first time, "I mean, your body isn't controlling me, I just want a different thing, don't I? Do you think?"

"I can't say," I told him, "I mean, I wore at the BISA but I'm not one of their scientists. I'm as clueless as you are."

He changed his tone back to the fond faraway one. "She makes me so happy."

"Then shouldn't that be all that matters?"

He nodded. "It's not just in my pants, either. I don't think so, anyway."

I rolled my eyes. Contrary to some women's beliefs, men are capable of having feelings elsewhere. Traci's learning this firsthand. Still though, the pants are a good place to start.

"So you're really attracted to her," I asked.

"Well yeah, aren't you? I mean... wouldn't you be?"

"I think so. It's hard to remember." I sighed. It was time to ask a really tough question. "When you're a woman... how do you know you're attracted to someone?"

"I guess it's not so obvious," he laughed. "But it's still easy to tell, Nick. You just get this feeling. Like your blood rushing faster. You just like to be near that person. They make you feel good and you think about them a lot. You just... know."

Blood runs faster? Like to be near? Just know?

Oh God... I think I'm in trouble.

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