In the midst of the busy restaurant, she sits unassumingly. A sweet-looking girl of about 26 years old, dressed in a light pullover and green top. Her auburn hair is pulled back, falling just to her chin. With a cup of coffee by her side, she peers over a newspaper, the Toronto Sun.
"Alex?" she asks, extending her hand for a shake. I take it. "I'm Nick."
I sit down and order a light lunch, setting out my notepad and tape recorder. Although I've interviewed a number of swapees, this is the first one I could find in my hometown of Toronto, let alone who would meet me in person. I've decided to handle her story somewhat differently.
"I'll let you do most of the talking," I tell her, "And i'll interject when I wave a question, but I mostly want you to tell your story."
She rolls her eyes. "I wish I didn't have a story, but you know there's no getting away from this thing."
I laugh lightly, "You should see the all the post-it notes littering my desk. There's no way I can escape it now."
"So what do you think of this whole thing, anyway?"
I take a pause and tell her, "I really just want to talk about you. Maybe we'll talk about me later."
She shrugs "I guess I'm the interesting one here. So where do I begin...?"
Swap Nation: What were you doing when you swapped?
Nick: I was brushing my teeth. I'd rolled out of bed, visited the toilet, and was brushing my teeth before showering. You know, the morning ritual. I had the toothbrush in my mouth when it suddenly rushed over me, just for an instant. My vision went blurry, me hearing went to, like, a dialtone. I felt like my legs were buckling under me, I think you've probably heard it all before. So I came to and I'm lying on this bed and I've got this pair of jeans half-on, clutched in my fingers. I took me, like, a half of a second to figure out what had happened. And my first reaction was, like "Well there goes my whole day." I didn't know where I was, what I looked like, or who was around, and I'm most worried about how I was going to go to the drug store, because I had a cold. Well, obviously I didn't have a cold anymore. This was early in March, the weather was terrible, not like it is now (the weather is 13 Celsius and sunny as we speak.) So I buttoned up the jeans and look around the apartment. It was a mess, but a nice one... some clutter, you know, some books, I didn't know. So I try to find the washroom and there she is, looking me in the eye in the mirror. I didn't realize I was female at first, and so I'm looking at this face and I'm like "Teenage boy?" I don't know. I felt my chin, no stubble. I'm rambling. Am I rambling? (I assure her she's not.) So first I notice the face and it looks so odd and I didn't put it together. It sounds like an insult to say I didn't realize I was a girl, but that's just my mindset... the thought didn't cross my mind and I didn't ant to believe it. Nothing felt different, at least. Then I notice them. Hard to ignore, right? It's okay, you can glance. I got this sinking feeling and suddenly everything... everything you'd think I would have noticed at first starts to hit me. How short I am, how my weight's distributed, my hair in my face... how I suddenly can't feel what I thought was there.
Now it feels wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. I sat on the toilet with the lid down clutching my sides shaking like I had hypothermia.
I stood up and looked myself in the eye again. I start talking to myself, I guess just to hear my voice. I said, "Nick. Nick. Nick," over and over again, trying to tell myself who I was. "What's going on, Nick? Oh not much, just got a vagina." (Laughs) And then I said that word like a hundred times! "Vagina, vagina, vagina!" It meant something new now, I guess. I felt like I was going to cry, and I was still laughing, but I felt, like, helpless. I didn't know anything about this girl.
So what did you do?
I found out who I was. Actually, since I live with my parents, I e-mailed my dad and told him that his son wasn't there anymore. He e-mails me back and tells me the guy in my body is named Traci, and I say "Dad, that's a girl's name." He tells me, "I know, poor guy." I would have laughed if I weren't so distressed.
Traci, like me, was low on cash. However, at the time of the swap, she was employed as a secretary, except she can't go to work because she's at my house in Chicago. So I think, "Okay, great, secretary, I can do that." So now I've been doing her job for however many weeks and she's been living, in my poor, balding body, without much money.
It sounds like you adapted quickly.
Well, in a sense, you have to. You can't choose your body -- believe me! Little things like pickle jars and jammed doors don't bother me, and that's the only time I remember how I'm not all that strong anymore.
What about your personal life?
(She giggles just enough to seem awkward) I don't really have one. I didn't have a girlfriend, Traci didn't have a boyfriend, thank god. All she had were these modest little rubber jobs in the sock drawer, and I ain't even touched those.
(She sighs, there's obviously something she's not telling me)
The first thing I did, I guess, when I left the apartment, was get a haircut. Traci sent me to her usual hairdresser. She was really excited to see me, but I told her who I was. And then she got even more excited, kind of like "Oh that's so cool, my mom's friend was swapped, I think it's so neat, I'm sorry about what happened but I still think it's cool." (Laughing, a gleam in her eye,) I wanted her to shave my head, but she refused. She did the hard sell on keeping my hair long, "Not many guys get to have really gorgeous hair, so why don't you just try it out?" This 'do is a compromise.
She also told me she'd be seeing me again soon. "As I'm sure you already found out, Traci's not a natural redhead." That made me vomit in my mouth, when I first heard it. Is it okay to tell that part?
I'll let it slide. Why do you think you were swapped?
Why is anyone swapped? I don't know. I'd like to think it's random. I'd rather not think someone's sitting at a control switch saying "Okay Nick, you're going to be Traci now." I hope it's all random and I hope there's a way to reverse it. I mean, Goddamn, it happened, so why shouldn't there be a reversal?
What changes have you noticed in your personality?
Well there's the obvious. I mean, I'm really shy now. Not that I was a ladykiller, but I wouldn't even dream of approaching a woman looking like this, so my sex life is DOA. I stay at home most night and read or watch TV. I tried to get into the Ugly Betty show, but it's not my style, so I guess I'm still a guy inside. And I started drawing. That's weird, because I didn't draw, and Traci didn't, but people have been telling me I'm pretty good.
I'm just really particular about who I talk to. I'm not a supermodel or anything, thank God, but guys like me will talk to any moderately attractive girl, and most of them come off as really skeevy. So there's the shyness for you.
As we shake hands and part, she offers to contribute a column to the site, which I welcome - to add variety, I absolutely welcome it. You'll be seeing Nick's first blog within weeks.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
60's pop group to reunite under unusual circumstances
The Monkees, one of the top-selling pop/rock acts of the late 1960's will reunite this summer after a pair of fortuitous swaps.
Singer Micky Dolenz, 62, swapped with former 'NSync singer JC Chasez, 30, on February 18. Neither man would comment on te swap at the time, with Dolenz only saying it was "One of those things you live with, hopefully."
A publicist for Chasez said, "Mr. Chasez can only say he has the utmost respect for Mr. Dolenz and hopes to continue his own musical endeavours."
However, less than a month later, on March 10, Dolenz received a call from his former bandmate, Davy Jones, 61, albeit in n unfamiliar voice.
"Davy always did have kind of a light voice, you know," grinned Dolenz, "But I get this call, the voice says, 'Mick, it's Davy!' And I can tell it sounds British, but I couldn't help but clean out my ears and ask, 'what?'"
Jones had recently been swapped with Maureen "Reeni" Gould, lead singer and bass guitarist of Cybertronic, a "girl-geek-punk" group from Southern California.
"I told Micky what'd happened," Jones' English accent is fully audible coming over Gould's pierced tongue. She brushes a lock of dyed-pink hair from her face and rolls her eyes, "It seemed this would be a natural concept."
The Ventura, CA native Gould had very choice words regarding her swap with the Manchester-born former pop idol. None of them are, however, printable in a family-friendly article. Using a very colourful metaphor for oral sex, Gould expressed her displeasure with the swap.
Jones & Dolenz are currently rehearsing their old material, as well as a pair of new songs, one of which will be written by their fellow ex-Monkee, Peter Tork.
When interviewed, Tork found it difficult to stop laughing.
"Mick and Dave are good friends of mine, yeah we go way back," Tork beamed, "And hey, maybe I'll get swapped with one of those boy band types too, and get Jessica Simpson's number in the process."
Tickets will go on sale soon for the tour, which will start in July.
Singer Micky Dolenz, 62, swapped with former 'NSync singer JC Chasez, 30, on February 18. Neither man would comment on te swap at the time, with Dolenz only saying it was "One of those things you live with, hopefully."
A publicist for Chasez said, "Mr. Chasez can only say he has the utmost respect for Mr. Dolenz and hopes to continue his own musical endeavours."
However, less than a month later, on March 10, Dolenz received a call from his former bandmate, Davy Jones, 61, albeit in n unfamiliar voice.
"Davy always did have kind of a light voice, you know," grinned Dolenz, "But I get this call, the voice says, 'Mick, it's Davy!' And I can tell it sounds British, but I couldn't help but clean out my ears and ask, 'what?'"
Jones had recently been swapped with Maureen "Reeni" Gould, lead singer and bass guitarist of Cybertronic, a "girl-geek-punk" group from Southern California.
"I told Micky what'd happened," Jones' English accent is fully audible coming over Gould's pierced tongue. She brushes a lock of dyed-pink hair from her face and rolls her eyes, "It seemed this would be a natural concept."
The Ventura, CA native Gould had very choice words regarding her swap with the Manchester-born former pop idol. None of them are, however, printable in a family-friendly article. Using a very colourful metaphor for oral sex, Gould expressed her displeasure with the swap.
Jones & Dolenz are currently rehearsing their old material, as well as a pair of new songs, one of which will be written by their fellow ex-Monkee, Peter Tork.
When interviewed, Tork found it difficult to stop laughing.
"Mick and Dave are good friends of mine, yeah we go way back," Tork beamed, "And hey, maybe I'll get swapped with one of those boy band types too, and get Jessica Simpson's number in the process."
Tickets will go on sale soon for the tour, which will start in July.
Briefs: VP issues statement on swap at Bureau opening
Vice President Dick Cheney spoke briefly at the opening of the first BISA in Bethesda, MD this past Wednesday.
"I'd just like to say, the office of the Vice President, and the office of the President, both endorse this institution. It will do much good to the confused Americans who are victims of this unlikely epidemic, whatever its source. It is important that we maintain our resolve and not let our enemies who may be behind this get the better of us. It will not affect our way of life. We are American, and we are determined. Thank you very much."
The VP also briefly answered questions. He was evasive on the topic of swap marriages, and the legal stature of the individual's identity rights.
Vice President Cheney merely said, "The position our government has is the same one it has always had. Whether that position is the same as the BISA is a different matter. We want no disruptions to our way of life."
"I'd just like to say, the office of the Vice President, and the office of the President, both endorse this institution. It will do much good to the confused Americans who are victims of this unlikely epidemic, whatever its source. It is important that we maintain our resolve and not let our enemies who may be behind this get the better of us. It will not affect our way of life. We are American, and we are determined. Thank you very much."
The VP also briefly answered questions. He was evasive on the topic of swap marriages, and the legal stature of the individual's identity rights.
Vice President Cheney merely said, "The position our government has is the same one it has always had. Whether that position is the same as the BISA is a different matter. We want no disruptions to our way of life."
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
International Bureau begins taking appointments this week
March 21st, the first day of Spring, will bring relief to the many confused, mortified individuals who have been made victims of the swap phenomenon in the past 3 months, with the opening of the very first Bureau of International Swap Affairs.
BISA is an initiative launched by the United Nationd when they were first made aware of the issue last month, following the swap of Finnish ambassador Kirsten Linonen with an Australian-born tour guide at the Louvre in Paris, Michael Kent. BISA's duty will be to keep records of all swaps, both within a nation's orders and between.
"The idea is that once someone is swapped, they will report to the nearest bureau to get all their affairs in order," says Aaron Beaulieu, Director of the American branch. "That includes a registration card to correspond to their original birth certificate, a new driver's license, passport, and any other form of identification."
The Bureau will also employ counsellors trained to help swapees adapt to their new roles.
"Something we stress is that when you swap into a new body, you are not that person," says Dr. Howard Bergman, head of psychology for BISA, "You remain yourself, only in a new context."
Beaulieu notes that there are certain exceptions. "While we will be attempting to keep people in circumstances as similar as possible to their original selves, a grown man in a three-year-old's body, for instance, will not be permitted to drive or buy alcohol. This situations will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis."
BISA will be taking appointments, but unfortunately, are taksed with a three-month backlog of appointments, totally some 1500 swapees.
Laughs Beaulieu, "The paperwork is going to be insane."
BISA's other function will be to study and observe the swaps, and attempt to crack the mystery of their origins. Joining Beaulieu and Bergman in this capacity will be two neurologists, American Arthur Gulf and Russian Pavel Alexiev, Scottish sociologist Katherine Duncan-Stuart, and Japanese engineer Osamu Fujiwara, who is "fascinated by the technology that must be involved."
"As a man of science, I can't literally believe the force behind this is, for example, supernatural or extraterrestrial," said Fujiwara, "But it seems beyond any technology we currently have to dig in to a person's brain and remove the data in there."
"After observing only three months of cases," says Gulf, "It would be difficult for anyone to believe these things are absolutely random. The patterns are there, but not clearly defined. If they were random there would be a smaller concentration of swaps in a single nation and an even distribution between genders. What we're seeing is a lot of Americans for only a few Europeans and Asians. There is a direct force selecting who is swapped, where and when."
Adds Alexiev, "We also cannot rule this out as a form of global terrorism, although it is not our leading theory."
Alexiev and Gulf say that they are still far from determining a cause or cure, but that every reported swap they study gives them a better understanding.
The first BISA office is based in Bethesda, MD, and will open on Mar 21. April will see the opening of offices in Chicago, Dallas-Ft. Worth and San Francisco. The Bureau also hopes to have offices in Toronto, London, Paris, and Kyoto by the end of May. By the end of 2007, 28 of the 50 American states, five Canadian provinces, three counties in the U.K. and seven European nations will have BISAs. New York City will be home to the privately-owned SwapCentre, a $3.5 million complex that will serve a similar function to BISA.
"I don't see it as a competition," says Robert Kleinberg, who is the primary backer behind the venture, "We are very interested in this matter and want to contribute."
Until more BISA offices are established, the senior staff offers a few tips to anyone who is swapped:
Get in contact with your previous body as soon as possible. Discuss the situation, get all the information you need.
Arrange to exchange clothes and any necessary personal items. This also includes medicine and personal grooming.
Come clean. As embarrassing as it might be for you to call up friends and family and utter the phrase, "I've been swapped," the sooner you get through with it, the sooner you can get on with your life.
Make an appointment. Even if there isn't a BISA opening in your area soon, many therapists, doctors and counsellors are prepared to help.
Adapt. The most important thing is to continue living your life as best you can.
"Every swap occurs with a different degree of magnitude," says Gulf, "Sometimes it's as if the swaps are designed to leave vital information, food preferences, sense memory, and so forth. People find their own behavioral patterns altered, and that often bothers them more than their new physiology."
BISA is an initiative launched by the United Nationd when they were first made aware of the issue last month, following the swap of Finnish ambassador Kirsten Linonen with an Australian-born tour guide at the Louvre in Paris, Michael Kent. BISA's duty will be to keep records of all swaps, both within a nation's orders and between.
"The idea is that once someone is swapped, they will report to the nearest bureau to get all their affairs in order," says Aaron Beaulieu, Director of the American branch. "That includes a registration card to correspond to their original birth certificate, a new driver's license, passport, and any other form of identification."
The Bureau will also employ counsellors trained to help swapees adapt to their new roles.
"Something we stress is that when you swap into a new body, you are not that person," says Dr. Howard Bergman, head of psychology for BISA, "You remain yourself, only in a new context."
Beaulieu notes that there are certain exceptions. "While we will be attempting to keep people in circumstances as similar as possible to their original selves, a grown man in a three-year-old's body, for instance, will not be permitted to drive or buy alcohol. This situations will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis."
BISA will be taking appointments, but unfortunately, are taksed with a three-month backlog of appointments, totally some 1500 swapees.
Laughs Beaulieu, "The paperwork is going to be insane."
BISA's other function will be to study and observe the swaps, and attempt to crack the mystery of their origins. Joining Beaulieu and Bergman in this capacity will be two neurologists, American Arthur Gulf and Russian Pavel Alexiev, Scottish sociologist Katherine Duncan-Stuart, and Japanese engineer Osamu Fujiwara, who is "fascinated by the technology that must be involved."
"As a man of science, I can't literally believe the force behind this is, for example, supernatural or extraterrestrial," said Fujiwara, "But it seems beyond any technology we currently have to dig in to a person's brain and remove the data in there."
"After observing only three months of cases," says Gulf, "It would be difficult for anyone to believe these things are absolutely random. The patterns are there, but not clearly defined. If they were random there would be a smaller concentration of swaps in a single nation and an even distribution between genders. What we're seeing is a lot of Americans for only a few Europeans and Asians. There is a direct force selecting who is swapped, where and when."
Adds Alexiev, "We also cannot rule this out as a form of global terrorism, although it is not our leading theory."
Alexiev and Gulf say that they are still far from determining a cause or cure, but that every reported swap they study gives them a better understanding.
The first BISA office is based in Bethesda, MD, and will open on Mar 21. April will see the opening of offices in Chicago, Dallas-Ft. Worth and San Francisco. The Bureau also hopes to have offices in Toronto, London, Paris, and Kyoto by the end of May. By the end of 2007, 28 of the 50 American states, five Canadian provinces, three counties in the U.K. and seven European nations will have BISAs. New York City will be home to the privately-owned SwapCentre, a $3.5 million complex that will serve a similar function to BISA.
"I don't see it as a competition," says Robert Kleinberg, who is the primary backer behind the venture, "We are very interested in this matter and want to contribute."
Until more BISA offices are established, the senior staff offers a few tips to anyone who is swapped:
Get in contact with your previous body as soon as possible. Discuss the situation, get all the information you need.
Arrange to exchange clothes and any necessary personal items. This also includes medicine and personal grooming.
Come clean. As embarrassing as it might be for you to call up friends and family and utter the phrase, "I've been swapped," the sooner you get through with it, the sooner you can get on with your life.
Make an appointment. Even if there isn't a BISA opening in your area soon, many therapists, doctors and counsellors are prepared to help.
Adapt. The most important thing is to continue living your life as best you can.
"Every swap occurs with a different degree of magnitude," says Gulf, "Sometimes it's as if the swaps are designed to leave vital information, food preferences, sense memory, and so forth. People find their own behavioral patterns altered, and that often bothers them more than their new physiology."
Briefs: Fashion industry expects swaps to jolt sales
Fashion industry insiders are seeing a grass roots increase in sales they believe is connected with swaps.
"Since so many men seem to become women, many of them buy entirely new wardrobes," said retailer Marta Spector, "Unisex-style clothes are in particular on the rise. These new women want to feel masculine, but remain comfortable and confident."
"In particular," says Spector, "We'll be seeing a focus on bras designed for comfort, even bust-minimization, formal apparel, and certainly footwear. Most men can't handle heels, and we wouldn't force that on them."
Laughs Spector, "They already have enough being forced on them."
"Since so many men seem to become women, many of them buy entirely new wardrobes," said retailer Marta Spector, "Unisex-style clothes are in particular on the rise. These new women want to feel masculine, but remain comfortable and confident."
"In particular," says Spector, "We'll be seeing a focus on bras designed for comfort, even bust-minimization, formal apparel, and certainly footwear. Most men can't handle heels, and we wouldn't force that on them."
Laughs Spector, "They already have enough being forced on them."
Friday, March 16, 2007
Vancouver teen ponders future in wake of swap
On a lazy Saturday afternoon, all Brian Keller, 16, really wanted to do was to relax in his room and play video games. Unfortunately, the mysterious force behind swaps had other plans as Brian found himself transported away from the world of Super Mario, and into a supermarket, where he was suddenly pushing a cart full of groceries.
Victoria Worth, a 36-year-old single mother, found herself dressed in Brian's grungy System of a Down t-shirt clutching his Nintendo controller.
"I didn't understand it, and then I remembered... the first news report of a swap had just aired the week before and everyone was talking about it," remembers Victoria.
"I didn't know where I was or what I was doing," says Brian, "I was holding onto the cart and my hands weren't my own. I couldn't breathe. Something was wrong. It was like I was having a panic attack."
Supermarket patrons saw the brown-haired mother of one fall to her knees and begin rifling through her purse. as she sorted through her things, her cellphone started to ring.
"Well what would you do?" Brian asked rhetorically, "I answered it."
The phone call was from Victoria, now many thousands of miles from her body in St. Paul, MN, calling from Brian's room. "Who is this?" the now-teenager asked.
"It's... Brian," she replied, uttering her first syllables in a new voice.
"Brian, have you heard of swapping?" he asked. Brian hadn't. "Well I think that's what's happened to us."
Brian says, "When Vick explained it to me, my first thought is, 'This isn't fair!' I'm only a kid, I've got my life ahead of me. She's got a 13-year-old daughter, and a career. Then I took a little liberty with whatever alcohol Vick had lying around, followed by, oh, maybe six hours of vomitting."
As they made their arrangements to return to their normal identities, Victoria muses, "She gets my silk blouses, leather shirts and lace panties, and I have to wear ugly loose jeans, old faded t-shirts, and grungy boxer shorts. Who really comes comes out on top here?"
Over the long-distance call, Worth directed the boy in his former body home, and directed her on what to pack. More than somewhat overwhelmed at the situation, Keller followed the suggestions of the voice on the line, packing up every article of clothing from the woman's dresser, and trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.
Says Keller, "I remember picking up a pair of panties and thinking... it's not the boxers I'll miss, it's what I kept in them."
Brian also recalls the moment something very startling happened. "I remember nearly dropping the phone and saying... 'A girl just walked in.'"
The girl in question was Worth's daughter Sabrina, 15, and who had some very serious questions about what was going on.
"I ended up having to stay until finally Vick got home," Brian says, "It was awkward, but at least she wasn't married or anything."
"We still keep contact, I talked her through her first period, just like I did my daughter," Victoria says with an impish teenage smile, "Sabrina didn't take the swap so well, she doesn't think I'm her mom anymore."
While Brian got a very scholarly lecture on her biology, she had less enlightened advice to offer when Victoria came to face his own physiology.
"He calls me up," laughs Brian, "And says, 'I'm at the office, and I just saw the receptionist straighten her leggings and your thing - my thing won't go down!' When I finally stopped laughing, I told him he's got too choices. Take care of it, or don't."
"Once I accepted I'm not who I used to be, I began to fall quite willingly into the role," Victoria muses cheerfully, "I'm definitely hormonal, and I'm definitely out there. Looking. Sabrina can't bring her little friends over, I made her promise!"
While Victoria has assumed the role of teenage boy, Brian's new body is giving her mixed signals.
"Nothing seems more revolting to me now than the idea of sex," she says, "I'm sick of looking at a naked woman in the mirror, and I hate the idea of some clumsy, hairy, sweaty guy putting his hands on me. And I think dad's happy about that."
Since Brian's mother left six years ago, the young man has been cared for by his father, Theo, who says "[Brian's] whole persona hasn't changed much. He used to squrim a lot, and he still does that, always tugging at those blouses, trying to stay loose. I don't think [she] is very comfortable dressed like that. But it's so funny to see [her] get carried away at a Canucks game."
He adds, "It's also very uncomfortable watching your teenage son sort bras. I'm really not prepared for this."
When Theo asked what she intended to do in the body of a 36-year-old mother, Brian was evasive.
"I want to keep going to school," she mused, "But I guess I'm kind of old now, so how much time do I really have? If I'm a woman now, do I want children? Do I want a career? Things are different now. I just want to be me. [The swap] has made things so much more complicated."
Untilt he swaps become reversible, young Victoria continues to work in St. Paul as a data processor, and provide for his daughter. In Vancouver, there's a grown woman in a Rolling Stones t-shirt sitting in the back of History class, trying to keep to herself.
Victoria Worth, a 36-year-old single mother, found herself dressed in Brian's grungy System of a Down t-shirt clutching his Nintendo controller.
"I didn't understand it, and then I remembered... the first news report of a swap had just aired the week before and everyone was talking about it," remembers Victoria.
"I didn't know where I was or what I was doing," says Brian, "I was holding onto the cart and my hands weren't my own. I couldn't breathe. Something was wrong. It was like I was having a panic attack."
Supermarket patrons saw the brown-haired mother of one fall to her knees and begin rifling through her purse. as she sorted through her things, her cellphone started to ring.
"Well what would you do?" Brian asked rhetorically, "I answered it."
The phone call was from Victoria, now many thousands of miles from her body in St. Paul, MN, calling from Brian's room. "Who is this?" the now-teenager asked.
"It's... Brian," she replied, uttering her first syllables in a new voice.
"Brian, have you heard of swapping?" he asked. Brian hadn't. "Well I think that's what's happened to us."
Brian says, "When Vick explained it to me, my first thought is, 'This isn't fair!' I'm only a kid, I've got my life ahead of me. She's got a 13-year-old daughter, and a career. Then I took a little liberty with whatever alcohol Vick had lying around, followed by, oh, maybe six hours of vomitting."
As they made their arrangements to return to their normal identities, Victoria muses, "She gets my silk blouses, leather shirts and lace panties, and I have to wear ugly loose jeans, old faded t-shirts, and grungy boxer shorts. Who really comes comes out on top here?"
Over the long-distance call, Worth directed the boy in his former body home, and directed her on what to pack. More than somewhat overwhelmed at the situation, Keller followed the suggestions of the voice on the line, packing up every article of clothing from the woman's dresser, and trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.
Says Keller, "I remember picking up a pair of panties and thinking... it's not the boxers I'll miss, it's what I kept in them."
Brian also recalls the moment something very startling happened. "I remember nearly dropping the phone and saying... 'A girl just walked in.'"
The girl in question was Worth's daughter Sabrina, 15, and who had some very serious questions about what was going on.
"I ended up having to stay until finally Vick got home," Brian says, "It was awkward, but at least she wasn't married or anything."
"We still keep contact, I talked her through her first period, just like I did my daughter," Victoria says with an impish teenage smile, "Sabrina didn't take the swap so well, she doesn't think I'm her mom anymore."
While Brian got a very scholarly lecture on her biology, she had less enlightened advice to offer when Victoria came to face his own physiology.
"He calls me up," laughs Brian, "And says, 'I'm at the office, and I just saw the receptionist straighten her leggings and your thing - my thing won't go down!' When I finally stopped laughing, I told him he's got too choices. Take care of it, or don't."
"Once I accepted I'm not who I used to be, I began to fall quite willingly into the role," Victoria muses cheerfully, "I'm definitely hormonal, and I'm definitely out there. Looking. Sabrina can't bring her little friends over, I made her promise!"
While Victoria has assumed the role of teenage boy, Brian's new body is giving her mixed signals.
"Nothing seems more revolting to me now than the idea of sex," she says, "I'm sick of looking at a naked woman in the mirror, and I hate the idea of some clumsy, hairy, sweaty guy putting his hands on me. And I think dad's happy about that."
Since Brian's mother left six years ago, the young man has been cared for by his father, Theo, who says "[Brian's] whole persona hasn't changed much. He used to squrim a lot, and he still does that, always tugging at those blouses, trying to stay loose. I don't think [she] is very comfortable dressed like that. But it's so funny to see [her] get carried away at a Canucks game."
He adds, "It's also very uncomfortable watching your teenage son sort bras. I'm really not prepared for this."
When Theo asked what she intended to do in the body of a 36-year-old mother, Brian was evasive.
"I want to keep going to school," she mused, "But I guess I'm kind of old now, so how much time do I really have? If I'm a woman now, do I want children? Do I want a career? Things are different now. I just want to be me. [The swap] has made things so much more complicated."
Untilt he swaps become reversible, young Victoria continues to work in St. Paul as a data processor, and provide for his daughter. In Vancouver, there's a grown woman in a Rolling Stones t-shirt sitting in the back of History class, trying to keep to herself.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Swap-ee finds new life, glory on college football field at a cost
The 2006 Alamo Bowl champions, the Texas Longhorns, may not have won their game against the Iowa Hawkeyes, which was a 26-24 squeaker, were it not for a fortuitous swap. Despite a short-term benefit, however, the swap has ended the career of one of Texas' hottest young university prospects.
Colt McCoy, a redshirt freshman quarterback, suffered a "vicious, stadium-hushing tackle" in a Nov 24 game against Texas A & M, and when back-up quarterback Jevon Snead announced he would be leaving the team, the Longhorns were left without a starter in their bowl game against Iowa. On Nov 21, McCoy, 20, was cleared to play, but on Dec 29, the eve of the game, McCoy experienced what is now known to have been a swap.
"That night we were all partying pretty hard, and then he just... went cold," said one teammate, "He just got really quiet and maybe a little dizzy, and then he went out like a light." It was doubted whether McCoy would withstand the pressure put on him to perform, even with the Longhorns a favourite by 11.
What could not have been known, and would not have been understood, was that at that moment the real Colt McCoy was many miles away in Norman, Oklahoma, resting in a reclining chair. The man they were with was 73-year-old Alvin Walker, who, in his youth, was a quarterback for the Longhorn's rivals, the Oklahoma Sooners.
Though disoriented at first, Walker "played along" and completed two touchdown passes, "McCoy's" 28th and 29th, tying the freshman record set by Nevada's David Neill in 1998.
"It was like a dream, some wonderful dream in slow motion," Walker told reporters cryptically after accepting the MVP trophy he earned while wearing McCoy's jersey, "I'm not sure what's happened here, but if this is heaven, I'm glad to be here, even if it is Texas."
The story, while inspiring for some, is heartbreaking for others. McCoy, looked at as the finest quarterback of his age, will now sadly see his career cut short as a victim of the mysterious phenomenon, the cause of which is unknown. The McCoy family declined to comment, but Walker says he has made it his priority to honor McCoy.
"Neither of us understands what has happened here," Walker said, "But I certainly wouldn't have wished it on this young man and hope there is some way to go back on it. It must sound crazy, but if this is the price, I'd rather leave youth for the young."
Walker is currently vacationing in Portugal, in his words, to "find some clarity." He and his wife Honeymooned there in 1950, and visited it again shortly before her death in 2005. McCoy is currently in the care of his 23-year-old cousin, a geriatrics worker from Abilene, Texas.
Colt McCoy, a redshirt freshman quarterback, suffered a "vicious, stadium-hushing tackle" in a Nov 24 game against Texas A & M, and when back-up quarterback Jevon Snead announced he would be leaving the team, the Longhorns were left without a starter in their bowl game against Iowa. On Nov 21, McCoy, 20, was cleared to play, but on Dec 29, the eve of the game, McCoy experienced what is now known to have been a swap.
"That night we were all partying pretty hard, and then he just... went cold," said one teammate, "He just got really quiet and maybe a little dizzy, and then he went out like a light." It was doubted whether McCoy would withstand the pressure put on him to perform, even with the Longhorns a favourite by 11.
What could not have been known, and would not have been understood, was that at that moment the real Colt McCoy was many miles away in Norman, Oklahoma, resting in a reclining chair. The man they were with was 73-year-old Alvin Walker, who, in his youth, was a quarterback for the Longhorn's rivals, the Oklahoma Sooners.
Though disoriented at first, Walker "played along" and completed two touchdown passes, "McCoy's" 28th and 29th, tying the freshman record set by Nevada's David Neill in 1998.
"It was like a dream, some wonderful dream in slow motion," Walker told reporters cryptically after accepting the MVP trophy he earned while wearing McCoy's jersey, "I'm not sure what's happened here, but if this is heaven, I'm glad to be here, even if it is Texas."
The story, while inspiring for some, is heartbreaking for others. McCoy, looked at as the finest quarterback of his age, will now sadly see his career cut short as a victim of the mysterious phenomenon, the cause of which is unknown. The McCoy family declined to comment, but Walker says he has made it his priority to honor McCoy.
"Neither of us understands what has happened here," Walker said, "But I certainly wouldn't have wished it on this young man and hope there is some way to go back on it. It must sound crazy, but if this is the price, I'd rather leave youth for the young."
Walker is currently vacationing in Portugal, in his words, to "find some clarity." He and his wife Honeymooned there in 1950, and visited it again shortly before her death in 2005. McCoy is currently in the care of his 23-year-old cousin, a geriatrics worker from Abilene, Texas.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Unlikely "wife-swap" causes more healing than hurt
An appropriate Valentine's Day swap may have been the medicine that Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Frickman's relationship needed.
It was a gruelling day at the office for Lew, 32, who had to contend with a lengthy commute after a record-setting snowfall. He had hoped only to spend the evening on the couch with his wife and nod off in peace. She, however, had other plans.
"I've been unfaithful to my wife," confesses Lew, "But I admitted that to her long ago and we separated. It was our first Valentine's Day back together and we had no idea how we were going to spend it, relaxed or formal.
"I came home in my untucked shirt and loose tie and just wanted to collapse. And then she comes out of the kitchen with the lights low, dressed like a temptress or something."
With a playfulness, Lew recounts how they moved to the bedroom without even having dinner, split a bottle of red wine, and "Got down to some serious business."
It was in the midst of this business that the swap occurred.
Says Lew, "I hadn't even heard of them, it was just tabloid nonsense that the papers weren't even reporting yet, so why should I pay attention? So my wife and I are having sex, and I can feel it, you know, I'm about to come when all of a sudden, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. And I don't mean to sound, you know, experienced but i thought I'd seen and felt it all." Lew laughs.
The room was dimly lit, and Lew's eyes were clenched shut by this point, but at the moment of climax, Lew Frickman was swapped, into the body of his own wife.
"I've been to support groups," she sighs, "There are a few men who have gotten this treatment, and they mostly hate it. I guess they didn't have the fortune of coming into it the same way I did."
Lew and her now-husband, Donna, lay beside each other in bed, out of breath, unsure of what had happened. "Did you feel that?" Lew recalls Donna asking in a softened baritone. "All I could tell her... him, was, it was wonderful."
Donna, 30, was a housewife whose experience had been in the advertising industry. Lew is a PR representative for a publishing house. Once she realized what had happened, the notion of simply claiming the other's life was floated, but rejected.
"We wanted to ease into this, once we started to learn more about what was going on," Donna explains, "I can't be Lew Frickman, but whoever I am now, I like. And I like her very much."
There is a very warm look between the two of them as they sit together, hands clasped, Lew in a necklace and white turtleneck, Donna in a plain green shirt and blazer. Lew took a leave of absence for a week before finally explaining the situation with her boss.
David Worth, the publisher for whom Lew works, said that "The adjustment was fine, it was like having a new employee who knew everything and everybody. I've seen an improvement in Lew's attitude, like a weight has been lifted off his [her] shoulders."
Having already become a woman in private, Lew said it was not hard to adjust to that role in the professional world. "I'm still who I am, and sometimes I'm very difficult with my husband. But out in the world, I want to feel like a woman. It's so odd to say, but I don't want any part of this to feel unnatural. The change has been sweeping for me."
Donna loves the change in dynamic between him and his wife. "Maybe my husband and I didn't have to swap bodies for this to happen, but something did have to change. He wasn't going to change, so something, I guess, forced it on him."
Meanwhile, he is looking for work in his previous field. "I have a unique perspective on things that is a skill I plan to bring to any new job I have. Hopefully, I will get one soon. We're planning to make an addition to our little mixed-up family soon."
Donna and Lew have a standing apointment at the soon-to-be established International Centre for Swap Treatment, here they plan to hammer out the legality of their identities.
It was a gruelling day at the office for Lew, 32, who had to contend with a lengthy commute after a record-setting snowfall. He had hoped only to spend the evening on the couch with his wife and nod off in peace. She, however, had other plans.
"I've been unfaithful to my wife," confesses Lew, "But I admitted that to her long ago and we separated. It was our first Valentine's Day back together and we had no idea how we were going to spend it, relaxed or formal.
"I came home in my untucked shirt and loose tie and just wanted to collapse. And then she comes out of the kitchen with the lights low, dressed like a temptress or something."
With a playfulness, Lew recounts how they moved to the bedroom without even having dinner, split a bottle of red wine, and "Got down to some serious business."
It was in the midst of this business that the swap occurred.
Says Lew, "I hadn't even heard of them, it was just tabloid nonsense that the papers weren't even reporting yet, so why should I pay attention? So my wife and I are having sex, and I can feel it, you know, I'm about to come when all of a sudden, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. And I don't mean to sound, you know, experienced but i thought I'd seen and felt it all." Lew laughs.
The room was dimly lit, and Lew's eyes were clenched shut by this point, but at the moment of climax, Lew Frickman was swapped, into the body of his own wife.
"I've been to support groups," she sighs, "There are a few men who have gotten this treatment, and they mostly hate it. I guess they didn't have the fortune of coming into it the same way I did."
Lew and her now-husband, Donna, lay beside each other in bed, out of breath, unsure of what had happened. "Did you feel that?" Lew recalls Donna asking in a softened baritone. "All I could tell her... him, was, it was wonderful."
Donna, 30, was a housewife whose experience had been in the advertising industry. Lew is a PR representative for a publishing house. Once she realized what had happened, the notion of simply claiming the other's life was floated, but rejected.
"We wanted to ease into this, once we started to learn more about what was going on," Donna explains, "I can't be Lew Frickman, but whoever I am now, I like. And I like her very much."
There is a very warm look between the two of them as they sit together, hands clasped, Lew in a necklace and white turtleneck, Donna in a plain green shirt and blazer. Lew took a leave of absence for a week before finally explaining the situation with her boss.
David Worth, the publisher for whom Lew works, said that "The adjustment was fine, it was like having a new employee who knew everything and everybody. I've seen an improvement in Lew's attitude, like a weight has been lifted off his [her] shoulders."
Having already become a woman in private, Lew said it was not hard to adjust to that role in the professional world. "I'm still who I am, and sometimes I'm very difficult with my husband. But out in the world, I want to feel like a woman. It's so odd to say, but I don't want any part of this to feel unnatural. The change has been sweeping for me."
Donna loves the change in dynamic between him and his wife. "Maybe my husband and I didn't have to swap bodies for this to happen, but something did have to change. He wasn't going to change, so something, I guess, forced it on him."
Meanwhile, he is looking for work in his previous field. "I have a unique perspective on things that is a skill I plan to bring to any new job I have. Hopefully, I will get one soon. We're planning to make an addition to our little mixed-up family soon."
Donna and Lew have a standing apointment at the soon-to-be established International Centre for Swap Treatment, here they plan to hammer out the legality of their identities.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Page A1: NC trucker becomes emblem of new phenomenon
It was the wee hours of the morning on December 26th, and Christopher Barton was driving his 18-Wheeler home to spend a late Christmas with his family. He was only a twenty-minute drive from his Charlotte, North Carolina home when he stopped in at a convenience store for a cup of coffee and a scratch-and-win ticket. He was about to become part of a very different sort of lottery.
"It was about a quarter after four in the morning and I was really lookin' forward to gettin' home and wakin' the kids up," said Barton who, at 6' and almost 230 lbs was a picture-perfect trucker in blue jeans and a plaid shirt. "[Barton's wife] Marjie'd been up all night and I'd just called her on the cell phone sayin' to expect me home soon, and that I had presents."
Barton stood at the counter scratching the ticket. When he found out he hadn't won anything, he was about to leave.
"Then all'a sudden," he goes on to say, "I get this funny feelin', like I'm fallin' or drownin' or somethin', but really it was like when you stand up too fast. I was a bit concerned, but as a trucker I figured it was just tiredness, and it passed, so I made my way back to the truck."
But when Barton got to the truk, he found something was missing.
"I'd laid my keys on the counter and I thought I'd left 'em in there, so I went back in, grabbed 'em, and drove off."
Barton arrived home at nearly 5 AM, and called for his wife. She came from the kitchen to embrace her husband, but instead shreiked with horror when she saw him.
"It wasn't my Christopher at all," Marjie recalls, "I thought I heard him call my name but when I went to see him, some other man was there. I nearly called the police!"
Christopher watched on, mystified, as his very own wife ran screaming through the house in search of a baseball bat she uses to ward off intruders. Little did he know, the intruder was him; he'd become the first victim of what has since been called, "swapping."
As Barton puts it, "I went to the mirror, and what do you know? I see a brown guy staring back!"
Swapping is a recent phenomenon that causes otherwise regular people to be, all at once, transported into the body of another person. Barton had swapped into the body of Rajiv Patel, the clerk at the 7-11 where Barton had stopped. Since this incident they've occurred a number of times and make no regard to age, creed, sex or geographical location.
"Hypothetically," said Dr. Arthur Gulf, who has been studying the swaps, "You could find yourself as a NASCAR driver in the middle of a race, or as a sailor at sea. The unpredictable nature of the swaps makes them very dangeorus. Since the Barton incident, the distance between swaps has, on average, been growing."
The first difficulty the Bartons found was in convincing anybody. "They all thought I's crazy!" laughs Barton, whose voice twangs between Hindi and 'North Cackalackie.' "Then a few weeks go by and more and more these stories start goin' on the news. Suddenly I realize what's happened to me."
As the cause of the swaps is yet unknown, there is know known way to reverse them. As of yet, however, Dr. Gulf has made a few observations.
"Of the few dozen that have occurred," Gulf says, "None have happened during sleep, so nobody seems to be in danger of waking up someplace strange. None of the swaps have occurred between the human and animal kingdom, either."
While researchers scratch their heads in search of the cause, the government is making steps to accommodate the situation. The United Nations is working with world governments to establish a series of International Bureaus to apply a bureaucratic process for swapping.
Said a government official, "Swapping represents a potentially dangeorus x-factor to international diplomacy, not to mention a disruption of their own day-to-day lives. We're looking to have every swapee register and carry a card to indicate who they are and what they can and cannot do." Extreme swaps will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, as precendent builds up.
"There will be many more to come," cautions the Dr. Gulf, "There are more and more reported swaps every day, and that number certainly doesn't look to be slowing down." The Doctor re-iterates the likelihood of a "life-changing" swap by saying, "7 out of 10 swaps thus far have occurred across gender lines."
As the Bartons try to get on with their lives amidst testing and near-obsessive media coverage, Marjie laments, "Sometimes, I don't feel like he's my husband any more. He looks at me with those eyes of his and I don't see him. But then he'll do or say something and I'll think, 'That's my Christopher.'"
Barton has retained his old job, but noted an unexpected change. "I've been findin' I can't eat the same types of foods no more, I don't take cream in my coffee and I can't keep a burger down, which is hard since I love a good steak," observing the fact that Patel was on a strict Hindu diet. "But at the end of the day, I'm the same guy I always was. I still love my kids, and they still love me. I just hope other people who get dealt this hand get it as good as I do."
"It was about a quarter after four in the morning and I was really lookin' forward to gettin' home and wakin' the kids up," said Barton who, at 6' and almost 230 lbs was a picture-perfect trucker in blue jeans and a plaid shirt. "[Barton's wife] Marjie'd been up all night and I'd just called her on the cell phone sayin' to expect me home soon, and that I had presents."
Barton stood at the counter scratching the ticket. When he found out he hadn't won anything, he was about to leave.
"Then all'a sudden," he goes on to say, "I get this funny feelin', like I'm fallin' or drownin' or somethin', but really it was like when you stand up too fast. I was a bit concerned, but as a trucker I figured it was just tiredness, and it passed, so I made my way back to the truck."
But when Barton got to the truk, he found something was missing.
"I'd laid my keys on the counter and I thought I'd left 'em in there, so I went back in, grabbed 'em, and drove off."
Barton arrived home at nearly 5 AM, and called for his wife. She came from the kitchen to embrace her husband, but instead shreiked with horror when she saw him.
"It wasn't my Christopher at all," Marjie recalls, "I thought I heard him call my name but when I went to see him, some other man was there. I nearly called the police!"
Christopher watched on, mystified, as his very own wife ran screaming through the house in search of a baseball bat she uses to ward off intruders. Little did he know, the intruder was him; he'd become the first victim of what has since been called, "swapping."
As Barton puts it, "I went to the mirror, and what do you know? I see a brown guy staring back!"
Swapping is a recent phenomenon that causes otherwise regular people to be, all at once, transported into the body of another person. Barton had swapped into the body of Rajiv Patel, the clerk at the 7-11 where Barton had stopped. Since this incident they've occurred a number of times and make no regard to age, creed, sex or geographical location.
"Hypothetically," said Dr. Arthur Gulf, who has been studying the swaps, "You could find yourself as a NASCAR driver in the middle of a race, or as a sailor at sea. The unpredictable nature of the swaps makes them very dangeorus. Since the Barton incident, the distance between swaps has, on average, been growing."
The first difficulty the Bartons found was in convincing anybody. "They all thought I's crazy!" laughs Barton, whose voice twangs between Hindi and 'North Cackalackie.' "Then a few weeks go by and more and more these stories start goin' on the news. Suddenly I realize what's happened to me."
As the cause of the swaps is yet unknown, there is know known way to reverse them. As of yet, however, Dr. Gulf has made a few observations.
"Of the few dozen that have occurred," Gulf says, "None have happened during sleep, so nobody seems to be in danger of waking up someplace strange. None of the swaps have occurred between the human and animal kingdom, either."
While researchers scratch their heads in search of the cause, the government is making steps to accommodate the situation. The United Nations is working with world governments to establish a series of International Bureaus to apply a bureaucratic process for swapping.
Said a government official, "Swapping represents a potentially dangeorus x-factor to international diplomacy, not to mention a disruption of their own day-to-day lives. We're looking to have every swapee register and carry a card to indicate who they are and what they can and cannot do." Extreme swaps will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, as precendent builds up.
"There will be many more to come," cautions the Dr. Gulf, "There are more and more reported swaps every day, and that number certainly doesn't look to be slowing down." The Doctor re-iterates the likelihood of a "life-changing" swap by saying, "7 out of 10 swaps thus far have occurred across gender lines."
As the Bartons try to get on with their lives amidst testing and near-obsessive media coverage, Marjie laments, "Sometimes, I don't feel like he's my husband any more. He looks at me with those eyes of his and I don't see him. But then he'll do or say something and I'll think, 'That's my Christopher.'"
Barton has retained his old job, but noted an unexpected change. "I've been findin' I can't eat the same types of foods no more, I don't take cream in my coffee and I can't keep a burger down, which is hard since I love a good steak," observing the fact that Patel was on a strict Hindu diet. "But at the end of the day, I'm the same guy I always was. I still love my kids, and they still love me. I just hope other people who get dealt this hand get it as good as I do."
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